When You Feel Like Giving Up

Mary El Tarot Two of Wands

Teal Swan says that yearning helps the universe because you are expanding it in your search for whatever it is you are yearning for, so you should not stop yearning. I agree. Yearning is good and natural. If it weren’t for yearning nothing would get invented and we would all wander around like herd animals or ants. The 2 of Wands in the Tarot is the card of yearning.

When it all gets too much, inevitably, here is what I suggest, and what has worked for me. It’s based on Focusing, a technique used by psychotherapists.:

1. Accept what you are feeling without trying to push the overwhelm away. Pushing emotions away does not make them go away permanently. Listen carefully and accept what your emotions are telling you. They are valid. You are valid.

2. Identify and fully experience the physical sensations that the overwhelm and sorrow is causing you. Try to name the complex array of emotions, and very precisely explain and name the exact physical sensations. Are you choking? Constructed? Fighting for breath? Do you feel punched in the stomach? Like your legs have been cut out from under you? Dirty? Name your physical and emotional sensations. Get very creative and analytical about it. Again, resist the temptation to push away or deny what you are feeling. It’s real.

3. If there is someone you can talk to, try to explain to them how you are feeling. Make sure that you say everything without being censored or talked over. Insist that they listen to it all. If there is no physical person present, call a helpline like Samaritans or Saneline. If your local numbers are all busy, call another country. You are not trivial or wasting anyone’s time. Your pain is real.

4. You do not need to:

  • Snap out of it / get over it
  • See the positive side
  • Forgive anyone
  • Be grateful – except to the person who is listening

5. You do need to:

  • Identify any thoughts or intention of self-harm, suicide, or harming others. Take yourself away from danger. If you feel like you are going to harm yourself or others, go to the police immediately.
  • Cry. Allow your emotions to express themselves. Cry into a towel or pillow if you have to minimise noise.
  • Drink water. This is a natural sedative. You gave probably lost a lot of water through tears. Going to the tap and pouring water is a good displacement activity.
  • Go outside. Get some fresh air.

6. Now say to yourself: “part of me is feeling…” do not jump right into the feeling, experience a little distance from it.

7. Listen without censoring yourself. Ask that part of yourself what it wants, what it needs. Act on it.

8. If you are silent and accepting of yourself enough, you will learn a great truth. If you don’t learn anything new about yourself, you can always try again. Believe me, it will happen again, like a very persistent telegram delivery. Act on that truth. You might hear:

  • God loves you
  • Believe in yourself
  • You are already a high achiever
  • Forgive yourself

9. Remember that forgiveness comes after healing, not the other way around.

10. Say a sincere thank you to the part of yourself that accepted to talk to you. Act on the guidance they gave you. Make friends with all the parts of yourself, Light and Shadow.

11. Try also: (other things that have worked for me in the past)

  • conscious breathing
  • healing others
  • prayer
  • perfume / incense
  • repeating: “It’s fine, I’m fine”
  • walking / exercise
  • eating
  • dedicating your experience to God / the universe

What has succeeded for you in a moment of crisis? Leave your comments below.

Marseille Bleu

Will you look at this? It’s a hand painted, yes I said hand painted Tarot deck, and a hand painted Lenormand deck. The artist is 282 Tarot and she (I’m guessing she is a she) is on Facebook HERE. She has recently sent the deck off to the printers so I am on the list for snapping one up as soon as it’s back, naturally. Really cannot wait.

Healing Childhood Issues with Tarot

Tarot de Jacques Vieville

Bless my parents, I love them, but as far as messing me up, they did a good and proper job. A little background:

I’ve been reading Tina Zion’s Advanced Medical Intuition book, and listening to her self hypnosis track every night as I go to sleep. It’s been amazing and so transformative. I’m also deep into Sherrie Dillard’s Mary book, which has given me the stability and strength to get right down deep into my dragon’s cave and go forehead to forehead with my beloved shadow.

Today at breakfast I was listening to the self-hypnosis track and realised that being a professional Tarot reader is actually quite an embarrassing thing to admit to, and maybe that’s why I’m not succeeding as fast as I want, and most definitely that relates back to my draw-droppingly awful childhood. People don’t actually believe or want to hear how bad it was, not even in a ghoulish “oh my God look at what the ambulancemen are scraping off the tarmac” kind of way. Nuts.

Focusing is a technique that everyone, and I mean everyone should have. It should be taught at school. It allows you to sit and chat with your darkness. My shame and I spent some time together this morning; I wanted to hold her hands, I kept telling her how sorry I am. It was really hard just listening to her and not impulsively healing her. She kept showing me how the shame I’ve felt since my earliest childhood is tangled up with all my other negative emotions (guilt, anger, grief, fear and the rest) and prevents me from moving on. If that’s not a precious jewel, I don’t know what is. So grateful.

Looking at the Tarot reading above, I’d say this is the intro to what I’m experiencing right now. Look at how all but the Sun card is reversed, and the child is moving backwards. At first I thought that I had just picked up the cards upside down, actually I should re-reverse them all, but then I remembered that the Tarot is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS right. The top cards are conflict, unfulfilled wishes and a sense of never-ending struggle, never reaching an end. How do I resolve this?

Troubles at an end (10 of Swords Rx). The worst is over. You just keep putting one foot in front of another (Page of Coins), accept the flow of life (2 o Coins) and do not revisit the past like an idiot (badly dignified Fool). Beware feelings of victimhood (8 of Swords) that lead to conflict (paired with Queen of Wands). The only way is up, baby. Yey.

How could I possibly give up the Tarot? It’s my super best friend.

Beginners Tarot Course on Udemy

A friend suggested I put my Beginners’ Tarot Course on Udemy, so I’m busy doing that at the moment. The photo above is a screen shot of the video editing suite I’m using.

Udemy is an online platform for sharing and taking online courses. I’ve had a peruse at the Tarot offerings and they all seem to be “learn Tarot in an afternoon” style. Yes, but then why not take the time to really learn the Tarot properly? I think some people would prefer that, don’t you?

My course will follow nearly the same format as the Beginners’ Tarot Course I ran in January, 12 weeks of weekly content, delivered straight to your inbox. However, the Udemy course will not be free. I haven’t decided on a fee yet, but I’ll certainly make sure it’s affordable.

Now I have a shiny new MacBook, I have the iMovie editor and it’s taking a while to get used to using it, the mobile version is a lot more feature-rich and the touch-screen makes editing so much easier than with a keyboard. By contrast, Udemy’s course builder looks to be flexible and user-friendly, the interface is intuitive and I might even be able to make some money with this. Ya never know.

Marseille Old and New

Really happy to see these two Marseille decks side by side. Amazing how the old Spanish version has 3 people at the magician’s table, with a dog biting at his fleas below it. What is on that table, I wonder?

The Star Card has also changed so much. At what point did the Alchemist Mage become a nude young woman?

Thanks as always to Tokyo Tarot Meetup, this evening in Yokosuka, for the images.

Just Look at the Darn Cards, Will Ya?

Maman Miyuki’s Tarot de Marseille

Reading through Tom Benjamin’s Tarot on Earth ahead of next month’s Tokyo Tarot Book Club Event, I’m excited to begin reading what I actually see on the table (or in this case bed) instead of what I know.

In this spread, I asked about the nature of the relationship with the people I work with. So what do we actually SEE?

The significator is the central card. We see people meeting face to face and two cups. But they are separated by some ornate stem flower in a red vase – the Yoni is in the room! Below is the world surrounded by a whole botanical garden of foliage and encased in more ornamentation than a German Rococo church. The little fishy-monsters are looking at each other but showing their teeth. So this spread is about socialising, or not, and the pressures of the world underlying the urge towards potential friendships.

On the left we see a lot of cups upside down. There are upset emotions and cups that are not charged. In the centre is a little blue flower with a red centre… another Yoni, but feeling cold, it seems.

On the right is the 9 of Coins. Money or plates are on the table, and the door is open, but there is something barring the way, another something, a mirror, a world,  or a face that is separate from the rest, in the middle but enclosed in a fancy wall. At the risk of becoming tiresome, it’s a Yoni wall!  The flower buds reach out top and bottom, so there is potential for events to unfold, but even though the roots of the flowers connect, there is nothing happening yet and one person is being kept separate from the others.

So we are seeing a disconnection of people based on the tight constraints of the world. The left side (female) feels upset and that the wine is being wasted. The right side (male) feels that the central face needs to be kept apart, but it’s difficult because that person is right in the midst of everyone.

A pretty bang-on description of what is going on at work currently, I’d say. And all I did was look at the darn cards. Thanks, Tom Benjamin. This is a seriously great tool.

What Does It Mean When There Is No Water in a Tarot Reading?

Deck: Asherah Tarot by Sarah Wheatley.

Look, no Water.

The topic of this reading is my relationship. I asked: “What is my relationship a metaphor for?” Because relationships define our relationship to ourselves, we need to see our “outer” relationships as metaphors.

On a superficial level, I think this is saying that we are in a negative cycle of  over-thinking and hot/cold passion. There is no water-type flow, only struggle and urges. It’s so hot, high and dry, like a sandstorm in a blazing hot desert.

The salient feature of this reading is the non-appearance of Water cards. Having seen this a lot, both in readings for myself and for others, I’ve come to think that it means that there is no going with the flow, no acceptance, no relinquishing, no belief, no trust. As I said just before: only struggle and urges. In fact, the only Earth card in the reading is the Devil. We are anchored to each other, we feel trapped. Not a great scenario.

The 7 of Wands for me is the card of the person who puts too much chilli in their soup then complains it’s too hot. They also always feel like the world is against them. It mirrors the Devil on a mundane level. I think that in any relationship that’s been through what we’ve been through, there will be a certain amount of jaded feeling, to say the least.

The 2 of Wands is the card of the one who yearns. Also here we see twin flames, the two lion heads. But they are joined at the body like siamese twins.

How does that reflect my inner landscape?

I feel that I am insufficient, locked into myself and my bad mental hygiene routines. I struggle against the effort I give myself, there is no softness, always drive and hot air. Always go, never just chill.

How do I become my own best partner? How do I juice it up, with myself? I want to give myself stability, support, encouragement, peace, validation, acceptance, trust, friendship, and of course satisfaction, feeling of looking back on what I’ve done and feeling good, feeling satisfied with myself, instead of “think what you could have achieved if only you’d really tried”.

There you are: a bit of blogging where I actually tell you what’s going on with me, like an actual diary, for a change.

As always: Thank you, Tarot.

Make Oracle Cards Workshop

I’ve been wanting to hold this workshop for the longest, longest time and finally today it all came together, like a beautiful dream, except of course it was real. Bonus.

Thank you to everyone who showed up, and thank you to all the amazing Spirit Guide specialists in creativity and intuition. Let’s do it again soon.

Thank you, White Fennec Fox

Image on morizu.com

We all have guiding spirits, several of them, that help us throughout our lives. When we want to relate to them closely and we seek them out to communicate with them, they come to us in symbols , visions or dreams, and they help us to understand their natures more easily by showing themselves as animals. You can learn al about this in Ted Andrews’ book How To Meet And Work With Spirit Guides.

One of my beloved subtle energy team members is White Fennec Fox. His particular skill is finding material things of value. Great skill, huh? My darling White Fennec Fox has just helped me to work out how to manifest a chunk of money to get me and my daughter to Europe this summer. How’s that for an MVP? Thank you soooo much, my darling.

PS: If you’re thinking: “Aw, how cute! I want one as a pet”, just don’t. They are much happier in the wild than in your home and are difficult to train. #notapet #dontbeaselfishidiot

I Give You Feedback – Free Tarot Mentoring

Yes, but what does it all mean? Learn to interpret the cards and give Tarot readings that resonate.

The absolute best way to learn to read Tarot Cards is to read Tarot cards a lot, and get feedback. It’s not only what you say it’s how you say it that counts. Also you need to communicate effectively with the client, meaning be a professional and set expectations to stun.

People promise feedback in exchange for readings but sadly don’t deliver, or they don’t give effective feedback that helps you grow as a Tarot reader. It’s hard to get supportive and knowledgeable yet objective feedback in anything, let alone Tarot.

I want to stretch my wings a bit and offer mentoring. So the first 3 people who contact me and ask for mentoring will get just that, for free. The agreement is that you give feedback on my mentoring.

Use the contact form on the About page of this website for further info.

Update:

I’m also hosting a Meetup event on the 11th of March in Tokyo, with peer feedback on Tarot readings, both content and style. If you’re around then, let’s meet and exchange readings and feedback:

http://meetu.ps/e/DW3sj/bF3yn/

Another Update:

I have now selected my three victims, er, I mean volunteers. If you can’t join me in Tokyo on the 11th, and you’d like some one to one Tarot coaching, find out about this new service HERE.